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You know what i realised, everything about me is changing pretty rapidly.
Im not the girl i used to be, everything changed, good & bad.
Oh wells thats life. Now, i think a lot of things are shit & lame & mostly the biggest drag in the world. I see things in a different perspective, like seeing the world upside down

I was young, playful & so innocent before everything started cramming in my life.
These stupid shits started coming which kinda made me emotionless, and just plain dead.
But dont really fucking care anymore, its more like a wtf, wth,fck yu, STFU all the time. Couldnt really be bothered as much anymore, fail or pass dont really fucking care.

Trying new things are like the best things in life, good or bad dont really care.
Its like being someone who has no emotions, goals & ambitions in life.
Kinda sad right? for me its more like a go with the flow thing, but watever happens happens.
I kinda get jealous to the people who knows what they wanna be & do in the mere future, and me still figuring out my next move, and thinking about what will happen to my future and shits.

All im doing now is just living my life. You never know when you will die, it can be tomorrow, today and yeah you get the point. I pretty much live through "some quotes" in life. Like "live life to the fullest", "just spend watever you want to spend, cause when you grow up you wont have the chance", "you have a million and 1 reasons to be happy" which i find hard to believe, cause you mostly you see the bad things in life than the good ones & also "important ones come late" LOL.

I get scolded a lot cause of going out too much & spending way too much, aka im BROKE. I get scolded by my friends and family like today, i got scolded by my little brothers saying that ill be poor when i grow up, sure thats true if i dont stop. its not my fault im an impulse buyer LOL i just buy it if i like it, oh wells thats me to you.

Also what pisses me off is that people UNDERESTIMATE me way too much. yeah i know i can seriously act seriously dumb and stupid at times, but i dont think its nice when people will be like "Mariel you're so dumb" and every single comment that is related to that. I find it degrading and a reason to hate them even more. I know its a joke but sometimes it gets way too far and seriously annoying. It like everytime i do something that is "not dumb & stupid" to them its like "OMFG what happened to you, its a joke right" honestly people are good in different areas in life and them saying that makes me feel hopeless and degraded.
I seriously love the people who doesnt make me feel what some people make me feel. They would always make me feel accomplished, happy and revived from my day to day struggles of perfection. With them i can be a person who is imperfect and just be a real person, who doesnt need to worry about everything and everyone. These people are the people i call my "family", they dont underestimate me, they make me feel accomplished ad motivated. Being with them makes my whole week or more, that is how much i love them(L), Without them, i will be a failure in life, becuase of my hard struggles and complications in life, being without them would seriously bring me down. They would always cheer me up when im down and they would always be the first people to hear everything i did and will do. i love them soo much and without them, then life wouldnt be as worthwhile as it would be right now.